Using Feng Shui To Attract Love

About a year ago, I got a call from a despondent woman who wanted to hire me as a “last hope” to find a man using my expertise in Feng Shui. One might assume I was speaking with an older, unattractive bore of a woman, but I have gotten these types of calls way too often to ever assume such a thing.

As it turns out, my new client (we’ll call her “Anne”) was an attractive, successful, thirty-something with an interesting and dynamic life, who lived in a beautiful apartment in the West Village. As amazing as her life seemed, she was overwhelmed with sadness because she still hadn’t found her soul mate and was on a desperate search for him.

As a traditional Feng Shui consultant, I organized the proper charts based on her personal information, so on the day of our appointment I was prepared…or so I thought. While I always take into consideration a client’s entire living environment, when I’m hired for romantic issues, I look more closely at the bedroom and what I found in Anne’s bedroom was a huge clue into why she hadn’t yet attracted the right man for her.

Anne’s bedroom was a shrine to her career and friends. She was in the fashion industry and her walls were adorned with strong, powerful images of women in fashion, while issues of Vogue stood in neat stacks on one side of her bed. Her furniture was crowded with framed photos of smiling girlfriends in various locations. It was clear that Anne surrounded herself with objects that inspired her and made her smile, so it was not easy to tell her that she had to get rid of or relocate many of these items.

The bedroom should be a haven for love and rest. If it’s love that you are seeking, your space must exude love – sensuality, sexuality and sacredness. It should also reflect grace, harmony and beauty to attract a healthy and loving partner. The bedroom is the perfect place to create an atmosphere that is ready and inviting for love. Her bedroom was filled with the energy of her career and non-romantic relationships. There didn’t seem to be anything in there to invite or make room for a potential mate.

The first thing I asked her to do was remove the stacks of Vogue that were piled on the side of her bed. I pointed out that the magazines (a symbol of her career) were acting as her mate, because that energy was on the side of the bed where a partner would sleep. Her career was keeping a man out of her bed. It was also important to change the intention and feel of the room, so I told Anne to place a nightstand on that side of the bed. Having one nightstand is telling the Universe that you’re perfectly content being alone in the bedroom. Having two nightstands shows a different intention. I know that a lot of people say, “but I don’t have room for another nightstand!” My answer?  Make room!  The 2nd nightstand does not have to be as large as the other one. I often suggest buying a wooden stool – they are inexpensive, quite small and work perfectly as a nightstand. Throw a tiny lamp on it and you’re done!

The next thing I asked Anne to do was to remove all the photos of friends and family from her room. At first, Anne was completely against the idea since these, were the people who supported her all these years and kept her happy. I responded, “You’ve got a lot to be grateful for. Isn’t it time we have someone else in here and make you smile?” Something inside her must have resonated with that, because she suddenly started walking around the room removing the photos. I also encouraged her to go out and find sexy or romantic images for her walls. The strong, lone women figures were an energy and intention that did not belong in her bedroom.

As a final recommendation, I asked her to buy 2 red candles and place them in the romance section (southwest area) of her bedroom. I instructed Anne to light these red candles a few times a week with great intention of inviting her soul mate into her life. I told her to clearly envision him in her mind and heart. Consider all aspects of him…what makes him laugh? Does he like sports? What’s his favorite food? How do you feel when he enters a room? What does he keep on the nightstand? When we create the reality we want for ourselves, what we think is what we get.  As you create your new space, envision clearly what you want and consciously allow what you want to come into your life.  Remember, like thoughts attract each other.

A few months later, Anne invited me back to her apartment and I was delighted to see the complete transformation of her bedroom. Everything seemed softer, lighter and sensual. On her walls now hung black and white photographs of couples from the 1940’s. In her search for art, she had discovered a passion for this era and really connected with the ideas of finding love at that time. I also noticed her red candles, which were burned often.

Anne told me she had met a man recently. Someone that she would have never thought of in a romantic way before, but she had realized that what she was looking for was not necessarily what she really wanted.  She realized that in the past, she’d never really made room for such a good relationship in her life and was incredibly happy for the first time in a long time. Recently, Anne contacted me to thank me, a year after our meeting, she had just gotten engaged and was thrilled!

Feng Shui mirrors reality. Our living environment is either a metaphor of high or low energy. High energy attracts optimistic, compassionate, loving people, while low energy environments attract negative and/or unstable people. Look around your environment and ask yourself if it is attracting all that you seek.



Photo by Hollie Fernando

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  • christine

    hi! this was really informative and all of these tips make sense. One question. When you say south-west are you talking about from the entrance of the room or compass direction?